Friday, May 9, 2008

I've got the time but I don't have the desire

The semester is finished. Every last grade entered. So now I should be able to devote a lot of time to blogging. I have lots of ideas of things to write. But nothing is coming today. My brain refuses to do any work at all.

When the semester is done I have lots of papers to file away and things to organize. I usually am busy putting papers away and getting to long neglected notes to myself. But I can't do any of that today. I always work better with specific tasks and specific deadlines. If I have a test to write, lecture to prepare, something to grade, I do it. It's the vague things I have a hard time with. You know, I should rework a few lectures that need some work. I should work on changing a few things for next fall, four months from now. No deadline, no definite product, just a goal to kind of improve things. It will probably be late July before I realize none of that quite got done.

I'll try to do some of that later. But not now. I think I've worked at least a little bit every single day since early January. I haven't allowed myself even a single day without at least an hour devoted to work, and usually much more, even over spring break. My brain is protesting and refuses to even think, and the prospect of organizing a pile of notes is a daunting task I cannot possibly undertake. So today I will mow the lawn and walk and not think. Tomorrow I will celebrate the graduation of my students, which is the culmination of my efforts. And maybe after that, I will think. And I will post.

No comments: